last year at this time.....

major change (well, from my perspective) was coming this time last year and i had no clue. i was spending another ordinary day at my job. big ol bomb hit...and then it was a shit show. and looking back now, i'm glad i didn't join the show, because it was very negative and very time consuming. also, i'm glad i didn't take it too seriously. yes, i lost my job of almost 20 years, but really, i needed a change. a shot in the arm. i was ready and i was getting the itch to make changes anyway. this just pushed me into it. i'm glad, too. since then i've learned some things. i've learned a lot about myself and my relationships and how much i cherish my family and friends. i've learned that jobs are just that, jobs. and they're a dime a dozen in my line of work. i've learned that time with people i love is more valuable than anything. i know now that i'm a lot braver and smarter than i give myself credit for. also, i get excited with change of any kind. i don't like living in a rut...for any amount of time. i like challenges and new stuff to do and experience, even though it scares the shit out of me. i like freedom and not being tamped down. but i also value the security and stability of "home". and home is more than a location, right? so i'm getting that itch again and i recognize that before long, i'll have to do something with that. i'm definitely not going to make the same mistake of staying in situations too long or giving too much time to an entity that doesn't even know my name for the sake of "a good job". how many people have done that and had regrets? sometimes i put these thoughts down to aid in talking myself into the right ideals or just the opposite...talk myself out of stupid choices. but it really is an eye opener when i can go back and visit days from a year or years ago when i had to make choices regardless.